


after all was said and done

by cowboyjones



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Pining, ushijimas v self aware
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:15:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25511206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cowboyjones/pseuds/cowboyjones
Summary: Ushijima Wakatoshi isn’t a very expressive person, though he feels a lot. Those who pass him in the halls, down the street, wouldn’t think so but those closest to him know him for who he is and he takes pride in that.He would say there’s three people who know him best. His older sister, his best friend Reon, and Tendou.-Tendou means something different to Ushijima. Though, the how's and why's are really the most important.
Relationships: Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 95





	after all was said and done

**Author's Note:**

> i enjoyed getting into the mind of ushijima and i hope you'll enjoy what i came up w!  
> edit: when i wrote this i thought that tendou joined stz as a third year so take that into consideration w some of the lines!

Ushijima Wakatoshi isn’t a very expressive person, though he feels a lot. Those who pass him in the halls, down the street, wouldn’t think so but those closest to him know him for who he is and he takes pride in that. 

He would say there’s three people who know him best. His older sister, his best friend Reon, and Tendou. 

His older sister could read him the moment she glanced at him; he gives credit to a lifetime of living together.

He’s known Reon since middle school. They found each other in the library when they were trying to find the same book but there was only a single copy available. They decided to read it together, trading the book throughout the day.

And Tendou, well, he was different. Even though they’ve only known each for, roughly, about a year, Ushijima felt that Tendou knew him in a different light.

When Tendou first applied to be a part of the team, Ushijima didn’t know what to expect. But what he grew to understand is that Tendou is the most open and carefree person he’s ever met. 

Sometimes when he sees Tendou animatedly talking to Shirabu and Semi across the gym, he stops to take it in.

Tendou’s first week was memorable. Tendou looked a little odd at first glance, sure. His shoulders were up to his ears, Ushijima felt the rolling waves of anxiety coming from him. But, he wasn’t skittish, he remembers that very well. 

When Ushijima decided that, as captain, he would make the effort to introduce himself, he had expected Tendou to jump out of his skin from how anxious he looked at first. Instead, Tendou came with an open mind and a grin plastered on his face but Ushijima knew in that moment that there was a thin wall to break through to gain his trust. 

Ushijima still doesn’t know what it was about him that made Tendou trust him. At the start, Tendou talked to everyone right away, trying to get the introductions over with. But once he was introduced to everyone, he didn’t talk unless he was spoken to.

But not with Ushijima. 

Ushijima was eating lunch one afternoon and a nervous Tendou, which Ushijima now knows is a rare sight, approached him, asking if he could sit with him and Reon. Reon glanced at Ushijima, telling him he was okay with it if Ushijima was in just a look. Ushijima nodded and Tendou happily sprung into the seat across Reon, next to Ushijima. 

He was comfortable talking to Reon from then on too, though he used to talk less if Ushijima wasn’t there.

One time Tendou invited Ushijima over to his house, Tendou was visually nervous about it, Ushijima wasn’t sure why at the time until Tendou had later told him in confidence that he’d never invited anyone over before. It explained the shocked face Tendou’s mother made when he walked through the door but he had thought it was because he was the top in the prefecture.

Ushijima didn’t know what to say to Tendou’s admittance, not that he generally said much in the first place. He nodded in the moment but later when they had finally got to studying, Ushijima asked if he wanted to come with him, Reon, and Semi to the ramen shop the next day. 

Tendou agreed immediately, a genuine grin spreading throughout his face. His smile left Ushijima staring at him. If Tendou noticed, he didn’t say anything. But Ushijima couldn’t care. It was at that moment that Ushijima was glad that Tendou joined the volleyball club. 

It was more moments of course, before and definitely after.

He would join Ushijima on his walks home; he got to experience a rare moment of silence from Tendou.

Ushijima likes that Tendou talks enough for the both of them, he appreciates that Tendou never seems to mind it. He’s been told it can get frustrating from peers in his class so he’s glad that Tendou likes to talk.

But he’s also grown to like this version of Tendou. He was always thinking. Sometimes Tendou would bring up topics, he would talk about them like there was months of thought put into them. Whenever Tendou brought them up, he felt that Tendou was cradling the ideas in his palms, waiting for someone to talk to about it with. Ushijima was glad he was the one to hear them.

He tried to be more vocal around Tendou. Ushijima knew that while Tendou didn’t mind his inexpressive ways, he had an inkling that Tendou would appreciate the effort. 

Ushijima would also make sure to invite Tendou to something at least once a week. He wanted Tendou to become comfortable with everyone, not just him. He wanted their team to be a place he didn’t need to have his walls up. 

Ushijima knows Tendou appreciates it, he sees it in his shoulders and his eyes. His entire body looked so tightly woven in the beginning, like Ushijima could pluck out a thread and he’d fall apart. Ushijima had the pleasure of seeing his shoulders loosen up and his eyes getting a little more life to them whenever they were together. 

Occasionally, he would spot Tendou in the halls, how could he not. He had bright red hair that raised inches above his head, not even to mention his towering height over most everyone. But what made Ushijima falter every time was seeing Tendou retreat back to his stiff, untrusting posture when he walked through the halls alone. 

Ushijima would raise a hand and walk towards him as soon as he noticed him. Time and time again, Ushijima would revel in the visible relief that rolled off of Tendou when he did. 

Other times, Tendou would find him. Tendou became a very physical person when he was comfortable, Ushijima found out. Ushijima didn’t mind though, he actually didn’t mind it more than he thought he would. Tendou would hang off of him, maybe an arm thrown over Ushijima’s shoulder; an arm, perhaps two, around his waist; an arm linked with his; Tendou’s legs thrown over Ushijima’s when they sat at the lunch tables; Tendou’s head on his lap when it was just them two studying at either of their houses. 

It was one of the first times that Tendou slung an arm around his waist when he asked if it was okay. Ushijima had said ‘yes’ aloud, assuring Tendou that it truly was okay.

Ushijima liked that Tendou would often find a way to be physically connected to him. There was no possible way of denying that to himself, not that it was ever an option for him. 

Reon had asked him about it one day. He remembers the day very vividly. Tendou was studying with Semi, meaning he couldn’t walk home with them this time around, leaving just Ushijima and Reon to walk together. “So you don’t mind?” Reon questioned. 

“Hm?” Ushijima hums his response, he wasn’t sure what Reon was asking about. They hadn’t been talking about anything previously that would’ve provoked a question like that.

“Tendou,” he supplies, “you don’t mind the way he clings to you?” 

Ushijima was dumbfounded, he hadn’t thought anything of the way Tendou acted towards him. Apparently, Reon could see that. “Really?” 

“Yeah,” he nodded, Ushijima was still a little perplexed, of course he didn’t mind? Tendou was just being himself.

“Question.” 

“Mm.”

“Do you like him?”

Ushijima only ever had one crush in his life, well he thought he did. His first ‘crush’ was in second grade, this girl told him she liked him and Ushijima had nodded. His friends teased him about having a crush, leading him to accept it as a crush. Later, Reon told him that that wasn’t a crush so scrap that he’s never had a crush.

Until now, he supposed.

Tendou was everything Ushijima wasn’t. Tendou was bright and complex, much more complex than Ushijima could imagine being. He thought that Tendou was the most interesting person he’s ever met. Ushijima knew he wanted to keep his trust, no matter the cost. He wanted Tendou to be comfortable around him and he wanted Tendou to feel comfortable around others. 

When it comes down to it, he just wanted Tendou to be happy.

“Yeah.”

-

Ushijima confided in his sister very easily. Well, not without her help. The week after Reon had asked him about Tendou, she came back home from college asking what's been on his mind lately. “I like my teammate, Tendou.”

She grabbed the box of cereal atop the fridge, reaching into the fridge for milk as well. “You gonna tell him?”

“No.”

She stopped the milk before it fully tipped over, eyes narrowed at him, “why?”

Reon had asked him the very same question on that walk home, he didn’t understand why they would ask that. “I don’t think it matters. I like how we are now and confessing won’t change anything.”

“And this isn’t you being scared he would reject you? That it would mess with the team dynamic?”

Reon had said about the same things she did, and just as he thought before, he didn’t think it would mess anything up. He liked how it was now. Tendou was already a naturally affectionate person towards him, they were around each other more often than not, they knew each other’s families, etc. He didn’t really care about confessing, he was content as is. “No.”

-

Ushijima and Tendou are walking to Tendou’s house. Earlier that day, Ushijima suggested that they should get ahead on homework so they can go shopping on the coming up weekend together. Tendou had happily agreed. 

Tendou was silent as usual, but Ushijima could tell that Tendou’s thoughts were stuck on the tip of his tongue, the remaining last touches waiting to be solidified so he could share it with Ushijima; Ushijima patiently awaited to hear it.

But it didn’t come. 

They arrive at Tendou’s home, slipping off their shoes as they step inside. Ushijima bows to Tendou’s mother despite both Tendou and Tendou’s mother waving him off. After brief small talk with his mother, which Ushijima happily did... Tendou not so happily, they decidedly walk up the steep stairs to Tendou’s room.

Tendou liked to unwind with a quick game on his console before they started studying. Ushijima unzips his backpack, pulling out his just-in-case book he keeps there.

Ushijima feels the weight of Tendou’s head on his thigh minutes into reading. Tendou normally waits for Ushijima to comb his hand through his hair at least once before he starts the game, so he obliges, combing his hair a few times before he goes back to his book.

When Tendou gets bored, that’s when they start their studying. Tendou often gets frustrated with history and science, sometimes draping himself over Ushijima in dramatics. Ushijima knows that Tendou’s more of a math person by the amount of times he’s helped Ushijima with his math homework. 

“Wakatoshi...~”

“Mm…?”

“C’mere.” Ushijima looks up to Tendou who has outstretched arms, wanting him to settle into them.

Ushijima gladly shuffles to his side, enjoying the long arms around his chest. Ushijima was glad he got moments like this. He didn’t care about labels, about confessing, not when he could get this regardless.

“Say, Wakatoshi?” 

Ushijima hums, “yes?”

“What do you think about when we’re like this?” 

Ushijima smiles, it's a ghost of a normal smile but it’s his smile. “I like it.”

“Yeah?” 

He nods. He really likes that they’re close like this. He mostly likes that Tendou trusts him enough to be close like this. 

“That’s good because I do too. But that’s ‘cause I like you,” Tendou says in the same calm, comfortable voice throughout.

“Mm,” he can feel Tendou tense up just ever so slightly. He understands that his usual response might not be enough at this moment. He understands that confessing is something that could be a big deal to Tendou so he continues, “I like you too.” 

“That’s good,” Tendou sounds lighter than he ever has, Ushijima chuckles at it. 

It is good. Ushijima nuzzles into Tendou, smiling into his neck. 

He comes to a conclusion: confessing, after all was said and done, was nice.

**Author's Note:**

> i wasnt gonna post this originally cause it became a thing out of a headcanon but yknow! thought i'd share. i couldn't get it into the story but the other part of the headcanon, beside ushijima not really caring about confessing cause he's content, was that tendou is a romantic but he doesn't really care about it actually happening to him, he just wants to be w ushijima


End file.
